Hello There, Pageviewer...

I am looking to produce artwork with a motivation, and doing it for money seems like the way to go. I have been in a dry spot as of late, but I can feel the artwork coming back to me. The only problem? I'm still stuck with my same-old ideas and most of what I want to do is a large image.

Now, I may not always finish or upload my best artwork, but money can be a real motivation for me. I'm great with funds, and I know how to pinch a penny until it bleeds. Thusly, I am offering up my services both as an artist and as a web designer. I have been unemployed since January 2008, and all my savings and stored-up good will are beginning to tighen around me.

I may be moving soon to try and lessen the burden... but I tell you now that I would rather do something for someone else that's something I enjoy to make a few bucks here and there than sit behind the computer wondering when this work-study job I'm supposed to have is supposed to kick in.

Glad I don't count someone having a job until the first paycheck comes in, but still. It's annoying to think I'm supposed to have some kind of income and it's still not happened yet... but I digress.

I've looked around and double-checked my costs and long ago decided on the following pricing structure. I believe it is reasonable for the level of detail that I can output, but things are always negotiable. Hell, at this point, I'd love just doing some traded artwork with people if that's not to much to ask. There's a community somewhere here, right?

Black & White Character Image: $10 (Grayscale Detail can apply with limited background doodlage. Examples: Black and White & Grayscale)

Color Character Image: $20 (Something like this or this. A full character shot with coloring and all. Different styles are, of course, negotiable.)

Full Black & White Scene of decent Size and Detail: $15 (Don't do a lot of these because I prefer to color if I'm going to do a whole scene. I believe this and that apply as examples, however.)

Full Color Scene of decent Size and Detail, in Color: $30 (My personal favorites, but also the ones that take me hours of work to complete. I think that Guyver X Vs Guyver47 and Guyver47 riding Huntermun [as a Dragon] are my two best examples of this [as is this].)

You don't have to pay until the image gets finished, of course (through PayPal, hopefully). Keep in mind that, as a commission, I will put more effort into cleaning up the image than I usually do myself (I prefer the organic appearance of having my sketch lines in a picture most of the time) and that my big scene images are often twice or four times as large as I tend to upload them as because I want people to be able to see the image on a single glance. That's the Web Designer in me affecting the artist in me.

I specialize in Anthro Wolves, Guyvers, Reploids, and have a thing for Science Fiction. I'm not beyond drawing normal humans or characters from World of Warcraft. I have a mindset for LARP and RP in general and have a lot of Video Game Experience behind me. I'm looking to work with you to get you the image you're looking for.

As a side-note, I also do graphics for websites. I offer up simple graphics (or a similar set of graphics as a small package) for $5 a pop. If you want to see examples, I can link you to a couple of places or display for you some things I've tried. For now, I will leave that as an option.

I hope some of you will take me up on my offer. It seems like I'm the only artist I know who never gets asked to do commissions. Heck, I seem to be the only one that doesn't even get asked for artwork from my friends anymore... hm.

See you in the Future,
—Huntermun

Dear Watchers,

I'm here. I don't know how many people read my Journal (as I tend to be long-winded), but I just figured I would say that I'm here. I'm uploading (mostly Scraps), and I'm around. If anyone wants to drop me a note to talk to me, go ahead. Also, I'm still taking commissions if you don't feel strange about paying through PayPal.

See you in the Future,
--Huntermun

The Last Journal was kind of a test... it was kind of a way to see if anyone was watching me who might reply to whatever it was that I was saying. I only gave it two days, but I think that might be enough time to check that factor out.

As it is, it seems silly to keep up, so now I'm just writing a journal to replace it. I'm drawing a picture and listening to a MacBreak Weekly... I'm hoping to replace my DeviID soon. Either way, I wanted to let people that I'm alive and that I'm forcing myself to draw more things. Even if they're Doodles, I'm trying to upload.

See you in the Future...

Let's assume you're a Vampire, shall we? If this is the case, I hate you. Your life is a cop-out... a jip. You don't have to play by the same rules as other people, and your nature informs you that we're all sheep or at the very least you're better than us.

Screw you. You know what you are? You're a little fucker who couldn't figure out how to make it through life on his or her own, and now you're undead. Hell, depending on the universe, you may not even have a soul anymore. How does that feel? You're a memory of your previous self, not even the real you. Your unlife is a farce.

Let me say this as clearly as possible: I will end your unlife. No, really. I know the rules, and though they may differ slightly from dimension to dimension, I've got the basics down-pat. Some day, you just wont wake... or you'll cook in the morning sun, having been staked down in your own front yard.

Why do I hate you Vampires? Easy: Your life is a cheat. You got embraced one of a few ways, and I've heard them all:

Someone saw something in that they wanted to keep forever. Maybe you're an artist, maybe you're a sculptured body, or perhaps there's some science that you understand with a genius the world has never seen before... in any of these cases, you may have been an awesome human being... but this means also that you're going by original World of Darkness rules, and in that case, you'll never get any better.

Your art will still have the same strokes, but be soulless (for lack of a better term), your body, however beautiful it was, will never be more so... you'll be like a porcelain doll... that way for ever... and on the genius front, not sure. I think perhaps you can continue to think, but your methods and procedures will never change... forced, in your unchanging undeath, to do what you've always done, the same way you've always done it.

That's the best case, really. What else is there? Anita Blake universe? Well, congrats... you owe your life to your sire and or the Prince of your city. You are at their beck and call. The same above situations for embrace apply, but perhaps you can improve? Your goals, inherently, do not get fulfilled. You do the bidding of others for eternity or until you get the guts to try and take control yourself... and if you were a pathetic human, you're probably a pathetic vampire. Good luck convincing people to follow you in an effort to overthrow the Prince who's been running your town for one or two hundred years. They probably just want the seat themselves and are just using you.

Lastly (in my list, not in possibilities), there's the Buffverse. These are fun vampires because they're some of the weakest there are. On top of not really getting powerful, their prerequisites for embrace are usually one of a few categories: fodder for their plan (way to go), spiting one of the goodguys (your friends now have to stake you), or being someone that those vampires wanted to keep around. Maybe there's something awesome about you as per above. Maybe you just know how to use a computer or fly a plane, and you didn't cooperate... either way, they vamp you just to keep you around... now you're life is the same, you just can't go out during the day.

On the upside (if there is one), vampires of the Buffyverse aren't the same people who got embraced. What happens is your soul flies off to the afterlife, and a demon possess your body (they just happen to keep your memories and experiences). Why is this an upside? It means that even your family and friends can feel good about getting rid of you since you've already moved on. What's a better motivator for killing a vamp than knowing they're imitating and mocking the life and existence of one of your closest friends? Not much else.

So how do I kill you? Firstly, I don't let you the hell in my God damn house. I don't care how you phrase it, you don't get an invite. I know about your dream tricks, too. Go into my dreams and get me to invite you in? Yeah, I know that counts. Screw you, not happening. I have amazing control over my dreams. I also know about the "open invitation"... how leaving your door unlocked can be an invitation, or even leaving it unlocked... I both close and lock my doors, so that means I have me a safe haven. Assuming I am being chased, you can't get me in my home.

Garlic? Check. Holy Water? Know where to get it, and a super-soaker. Sure, it sounds silly, but you'll burn all the same. Crosses? I can get them. Many of them. I may not have all this stuff around me right now, but who does? They only thing I'm missing is faith, and if I find out their are vampires, I've got a good chance to start believing in religion...

I know some of you don't die by stake, you just get paralyzed. Sometimes you can get someone to take it out... but if you don't turn to dust in three seconds, then I'm taking your paralyzed corpse ass and leaving you out on the front lawn, watching you until dawn when you burst into flames. Also, while I may not have an ax handy for a necessary beheading, you can preform much the same with a butcher knife. It just takes longer.

Look, maybe you're not a bad person... but I can't take that chance. Most of you are. You're stronger and faster than I am, and there's no chance an unathletic person such as myself would ever be able to handle you in a straight-up fight. No. I'll play along for a bit, but I will find where you sleep during the day (even if it's in the earth) and I will stake you then. I'm not stupid, but you might be. Most vampires don't expect the sheep to fight back.

In conclusion: you're life is sad. Your existence is a mockery. Vampires live for centuries, cannot go out in the sun, and never really change. Immortally lets you watch all those people you claim to care about die off from old age a little at a time. You care little to nothing for your fellow man, and you don't involve yourself in human society. After all, why would you? You'll be around longer than the US or China or anyone.

Immortality is a curse. What's your best bet? You live on until the earth's end (which I guess isn't that far away). You may have already gone mad form having no blood in you when the last human die, because most vampires don't die from lack of blood... they just don't deal with it well. So some day, when the sun goes super-nova and the earth is but an absorbed rock into it's surface temperature, ask yourself this: was it worth it?

I make mistakes.

We all do.

No one is perfect.

When you or I, or anyone makes them... you have to own up to your fault, suck it up, and do your best not to make that mistake again. You can't beat yourself up over it (at least not for long) and expect to improve on your life.

If you hurt a friend when you didn't mean to (and if you did, why are you hurting your friends on purpose of all people?), then you need to apologize for the situation and do your best not to repeat your mistake.

By the same token, your friend shouldn't hold your mistake over you. If they do, what kind of friend are they anyway? Not very good ones, I'd wager.

However, I find myself having trouble with my own advice this time. It's only been about four hours, but it's creating a horrible pain in my chest, and I legitimately feel sick to my stomach.

I hurt a friend so bad she cried (though she did so without my knowing it at the time... she cried "off screen"). I hurt my friend so bad that I knew at the time I'd snapped at her and I didn't care... and later because I didn't care, I got the "boyfriend, but your friend" talk... that talk you get where the boyfriend of your friend is also your friend, but you hurt things between them...

I'm sure most of you guys out there know the "boyfriend, but your friend" talk... it goes a little bit something like this: "I want you to know... that even though you apologized, and I'm glad for that... if you ever hurt her like that again... you and I are going to have a problem."

Ah, fun times...

(That last line was sarcasm.)

The problem here is really the not initially caring part. That's my problem here. I am wrong for snapping at my friend, and I am deeply sorry about it. Deeply like I've got that 'worry if things will ever be the same again' kind of deeply (even though I know I have very little to reason worry on that front)...

My problem is that... I snapped at my friend because she can't stop taking things too seriously... and always badly. I'm honestly sick and tired of it. I don't know what to do. She'll get home from work today and read these words, and I wont know what to reply with...

She thinks the negative version of anything you might say... that bad connotation... worst case scenario... everything's her fault kind of way... And it bugs the ever-lovin' shit out of me. I can't stand it any more.

Friend (as I am not typing her name, though she and everyone I know already has every idea who I'm talking to here)... Friend, what you have to understand is that... if you always take the negative to everything, you're doing worse that just misunderstanding. You thinking the things I'm not saying, hearing words that aren't coming out of my mouth, or even expecting that I will react badly to something you haven't even said yet... it's more than just a reflection on your negative outlook on life... it's a message to me that you expect those reactions from me... that you don't think much of me as a friend.

I don't care if it's not true. I can't. By now you should know me better than to think I will think little of you, bite your head off, talk down to you, or burst out at you on purpose. If you can't see that I'm your friend... if I'm not "allowed" to make negative critiques of you as a friend... then what does that say about our relationship?

This is not a plea to anyone for anything. This is not a request for an apology or a declaration of blame. This is an outlet for me... so that you might see things from my side.

I was the badguy here. I snapped, and I shouldn't have. For that, I am sorry. The reason I snapped, however, was the build-up of anguish over your negativity towards myself and others. I can't stand it anymore.

My feelings upon lashing out at someone, regardless of situation, is a culmination of the pressure of living with something for far too long. In this instance, I snapped not because I was angry, but because I was frustrated... immensely so. I shouldn't have snapped... I should have let it out slowly over a long period of time... should have taken my own advice.

To all you who are still reading this lengthy Blog, let me say this: If you let anything build-up over time... having problems at school, work, friends, or play... if you do not air it out your grievances a little over time then they will all burst out of you at a most inopportune moment as they have this morning with me.

I should have taken her aside... I should have refused to be denied the conversation for as long as I had been. It's my fault I snapped, not hers, and I am sorry. I could have prevented it, but I didn't want all the hassle of trying to work out something that obviously troubled her.

But I should have made it work... should have worked it out.

I don't feel much better from typing this... but I can't beat myself up over it forever. I have to move on and do my best not to let it happen again in the Future...

...and that's the best any of us can ever do.